Universal Adjustable Neck Mount. Wow, that’s a mouthful.

Do you have difficulty choosing between holding your baby or your phone? Do you struggle with tending to your overflowing bathtub while winning at angry birds? Have you been known to continue scrolling through TikTok at the expense of smoking pancakes on your stove?

Introducing the Universal Adjustable Neck Mount – a hands-free, everyday-device, neck supporting accessory.

Universal Adjustable Neck Mount

Price: $4.00

Manufacturer: Tech1

The Universal Adjustable Neck Mount’s 360-degree rotation technology and soft neck cushion sports a holder that fits up to a 7″ screen and is perfectly sized for any neck, head, or device. The sleek, Gumby-like rubber arms and spring-loaded-device-holder puts even a Go-Pro head mount to shame.

With more than 4.88 billion cell phone users in the world (that’s 9.76 billion hands for all you math fanatics out there), do we really expect society to continue holding phones? We stopped holding the door open for each other so it’s just a matter of time before holding our phone is also out the door. All we needed was the technology – So, here it is, in the great tradition of need necessitating invention – the Universal Adjustable Neck Mount.

You may be saying, “But wait, I don’t have a phone.” Don’t worry, you can stop holding more than just a phone. The UANM holds your map so you can participate in a triathlon, when you’re directionally disoriented. Are you a novice piccolo band player who needs sheet music? Miss a note no more. Don’t forget your UANM when attending a family corn roast and pie eating contest. Got long grass but it’s a scorcher? Attach a fan to the UANM while mowing your lawn and you’ll be cool as a cucumber while conforming to your neighbours’ high standards. Even finish your Etch A Sketch masterpiece while being arrested.

There are really no limits to the convenience and comfort that the UANM-hands free construction affords.

After reviewing the UANM for more than a week, my life has become 100 times easier. Even more so since the UANM intelligence evolved to create a symbiotic relationship between it, my phone, and my neck. I now communicate only through emojis and Siri has replaced my vocal cords. With the Universal Adjustable Neck Mount, I’ll never miss another second of screen time.

Verdict

To say I’ve enjoyed this product is an understatement. We are now one mind and body and I couldn’t be happier. We give the Universal Adjustable Neck Mount eight machine overloads out of ten.